today i might lose the one thing in my life that has been a constant for the past 5 months. I cant imagine what im going to do if everything thats been going on comes to fruition. Its one thing to realize faults about yourself, and another to have those same faults hurt those that you love to the point that they want to be far away from you, want to seek out someone else to make them feel good. its strange to look at myself in the mirror, and know that the one person who could have made a difference is looking at me, he is me.

She has been a girlfriend that i didnt deserve. Not from day one. I think sometimes that i was dreaming when i look back on parts of our relationship.

i hope this works out.