Reflection on Religion

The concept of religion has varying definitions depending upon the context and what can be easily compared with it. To me, someone who was raised a Methodist Christian, but spent many years of his life switching from church to church with his parents, trying to find the perfect fit, religion, is more than just something that you can believe in, religion has and always will be a way to define ourselves to others and a way that we can influence and make sense of our perception of reality.

Despite my belief in my own Christian faith, I am constantly plagued by the feeling that there must be an even greater truth beyond the words of Christian Scriptures regardless of the denomination. I feel as though I should not be compelled to choose a single faith as I have seen the proponents of organized religion do. However, it is not possible to choose what religion you want to follow when you are born. Christianity is the religious tool that I have been given as a base for understanding my own reality, and I view it as just that, a base. In a world full of great religious and racial schisms, it is very easy to exist with a closed mind, recognizing and deifying the things that separate us from the sinners, or the infidels. I think that the greatest truth to be found in life is available through an exploration of the religious views of others.

Throughout history, it has been common for major religious groups to be the catalyst that leads to war, conflict, and hate. The Christian Crusades, The Arab Israeli conflict, the Muslim Conquests, the Genocide of World War II, and many other terrible tragedies find their roots in the garden of Organized religions and the differences that they poignantly emphasize. I do not view organized religion as a bad thing however, I merely feel that organized religion helps small minded people continue to think in a small minded way. It has also provided nations with identity, and just rulers, with equally just causes to fight for. People are not perfect, thus by nature, our religions will always be inexorably flawed. It is for that reason that we must not restrict ourselves to a traditional Organized religious belief. We need to look outside the box, or the cross, what have you, and look for truth in the religions of our peers if we truly seek enlightenment and peace.

Ha.

Yeah, that's right, ha. im laughing at you, not with you, at you. Why? because i feel bad for you, i think your way of life is depressing, and your outlook on it so common i feel like you're not even a wallflower, more like wall paper. Its surprising to me that people notice you, pay any attention to you at all because you spend your whole life trying to fit into the molds manufactured by your peers. You used to be so cool, i could talk to you for hours and not get bored, and you didn't give a shit about what anybody said. But now, you're selfish, and egotistical. You cover up your own insecurities with fake tanning and makeup, and i barely know who you are anymore. Then again, i don't think you do either. You won't know when you read this, you won't ever know.

I don't even know who I'm writing this to, because i haven't seen the real you in so long its like you're just all gone.

Maybe this is to everyone who just gets along by hiding behind things that define others and hope to fit the shape of the shadows cast by the spotlight on their golden idols.

So maybe i'm preachy, but someone had to say it.

today i might lose the one thing in my life that has been a constant for the past 5 months. I cant imagine what im going to do if everything thats been going on comes to fruition. Its one thing to realize faults about yourself, and another to have those same faults hurt those that you love to the point that they want to be far away from you, want to seek out someone else to make them feel good. its strange to look at myself in the mirror, and know that the one person who could have made a difference is looking at me, he is me.

She has been a girlfriend that i didnt deserve. Not from day one. I think sometimes that i was dreaming when i look back on parts of our relationship.

i hope this works out.